It is no longer "in the closet." Our culture has given the green light to those who have gender confusion issues, and they are free to do as they see fit.
Since we are likely to meet people who identify as LGBTQ, we need to consider what the Bible requires of us. How do we as Christians relate to a person who has this kind of lifestyle?
Here are a few principles that can serve to guide us in this regard.
1. Take a holistic approach – We should never reduce a person to their sexuality alone. Neither should we limit our interactions with them merely on the basis of this one dimension of their life. We must treat them as people, recognizing that he or she still bears the image of God. We should be willing to get to know them and engage in meaningful friendships with them. Jesus certainly did the same as the one who was “the friend of tax collectors and prostitutes.”
2. Don’t reject them or disavow any type of relationship – In 1 Corinthians 5:9 Paul says that is permissible to associate with people outside the church who are immoral (at least so long as we are not corrupted by their lifestyle). If we weren’t permitted such liberty, Paul says we’d have to leave this world! To be sure, people outside the church should be expected to live ungodly lives. Our job is to reach out to them and be genuinely interested in them.
3. Never compromise – We may love someone who identifies as LGBTQ and we can seek to be a good friend, but we do not accept or tolerate patterns of sin in their life. If a friend would use crude language, we wouldn’t ignore it or act like it doesn’t matter. We’d politely request that they not speak in such a manner. We should do the same with a LGBTQ friend whenever issues of their sexuality come up. We can express in the kindest of terms that such urges, interests, and acts are not in accord with God’s will. All in all, being a friend doesn’t mean wholesale acceptance of their lifestyle.
4. Listen and talk candidly when the opportunity affords – Some LGBTQ people like to let their sexuality be known and are very direct about their sexual deviance. Others may be more “in the closet” and wish to have someone to confide in about their struggles in this area. If that should be the case, welcome the opportunity to chat. Take time to listen to what they have to say and demonstrate interest in them as a person. If they are open to it, share with them what the Scripture teaches and be just as candid about God’s design for human sexuality. Whatever you do, don’t merely react or lash out at them in anger.
5. Take the long view -- Caring patience is key. Rosaria Butterfield, a former lesbian activist, said that a person who is a homosexual probably didn’t get there overnight. It likely came after a long time of real thought. The best thing you can do is to be part of the long thought process that leads them back, should God grant it. This is where those who lash out in anger or press for a quick “decision for the Lord” get it wrong. We must have a mind to take the long road of discipleship
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Matt is blessed to be a husband, father, and pastor in Ashland, Ohio.